New Year?

Another new year? meh.

I feel like I've just woken up for the first time, but not in the good I-can-get-my-life-going kinda way. More along the wtf kinda way.

I've got no goals, no plans, no motivation and no money. I live to pay bills right now.

If I'm doing such a meager job at that, how can I expect myself to obtain anything better?

Is it relevant to my future?

Is my current situation indicative of my potential?

How do I get motivated?

Why should I be motivated?

I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do.

I don't think I can do anything.

I'm not even sure I like who I am anymore.

I know what some of my problems are. How do I solve them?

I'm socially awkward, either too obnoxious or too quiet.

I can't carry a conversation if my life depended on it, everything I say always feels too forced.

I'm horrible at time management.

I don't talk to, or see my friends enough.

I don't put time into the hobbies I enjoy, or tell myself that I enjoy.

I'm not dedicated to any one thing.

A listing of my problems is too boring for even me to read.

I think what I need here is focus. I need to pick several areas to concentrate on. That to me is the difference between average folk and famous/notable folk.

Bill Gates is the Microsoft guy. I'm sure he likes other things as well, but his focus is Microsoft and that probably envelops 90% of his time. He will be leaving his full time roll soon and I think it will be interesting to see how he handles losing his focus.

Everybody who is known as 'that _____ guy/chick', is generally successful at that. Is it because they were successful first or because they were focused? Does it matter? They're there and they're focused on their topic. (grammar fun, notice the 3 proper uses of they're, there and their!)

I was really inspired today by a post from Jeff Atwood about Magpie Developers and the obsession with the new and shiny.

I need to stop trying to understand everything and focus on a few things.

Another new year sounds like the same old year to me...

Life stays the same regardless of our relative position in orbit around the sun.


Damn, after reading all this, I feel like tacos.